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Coming to our shelter is just the first step. We understand it comes with a lot of unknowns.

We are here for you every step of your journey.

Call Our Crisis LineMake a Safety Plan
  • 24-hour hotline staffed by professionally trained trauma-informed care advocates
  • Providing basic care and personal hygiene needs
  • Patient advocacy for hospital visits/stays
  • Support groups
  • Advocating for children
  • Safety planning
  • Assistance obtaining legal counsel
  • Victim advocacy at court hearings
  • Money management and financial education
  • Referrals to other agencies
  • Case management
  • Education programs
  • Life skills training
  • Self-esteem coaching
  • Parenting classes
  • Trainings to build/identify healthy relationships
  • Housing assistance

In addition to providing a safe shelter for victims, survivors and their children, DOVES offers numerous services to anyone dealing with intimate partner violence

Printable Resources For Partners

DOVES also:

Offers speakers to educate the general public on the realities of interpersonal violence and to explain our services and interventions
Attends health fairs, community events and conferences to provide information and resources
Provides trauma-informed care training for professionals and education about the services, resources and support available to domestic and dating violence victims

Safety Planning

We know it can be incredibly difficult to leave an abusive situation, but you don’t have to do it alone! We can help you create an individual safety plan unique to your needs.

Know Who To Call

If you are in immediate danger, or in an emergency, call 911.

DOVES is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, serving the Gateway region.

Crisis Line: (800) 221-4361
Office phone: (606) 784-6880
Email: info@dovesofgateway.org

Not In Our Area?

ZeroV hotline: (502) 209-5382

National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-SAFE (7233)

Remember — you are not responsible for the abuse. You cannot make someone hurt you. They choose to do it.

Unique safety plans and protective orders help keep you safe after leaving your abuser.

Step 1

Create Your Plan, Review It Regularly

  1. Identify all exits and practice your escape route.
  2. Pack a bag. Include medications, important documents, money, keys and clothes. Hide it in a safe and handy place so you can leave quickly.
  3. Determine a safe place to go after you leave.
  4. Create a code word for when you need the police. Share it with your children, family, and friends.
  5. Technology can be monitored, tracked and checked without your knowing. This includes your computer, phone and social media accounts. Delete your entire internet and phone history frequently.
  6. During an explosive incident, stay out of rooms with only one exit — like bathrooms or closets — and places with potential weapons, such as the kitchen.
Step 2

Staying Safe After Leaving

  1. Open a bank account and credit card solely in your name.
  2. Leave important documents, extra keys, money, medicine and some clothes with someone you trust.
  3. Determine who you can stay with or lend you money once you get away from the abuse.
Step 3

Safety and Protective Orders

  1. Make several copies of the order and give them to schools, daycare or work. Keep a copy in your car, purse or other secure place.
  2. Call the police if your abuser violates the Protective Order.
  3. If your order originates from another state, register it with your local police and the local circuit court clerk’s office.

More information on protective orders below.

Call the DOVES Hotline to talk through and personalize your safety plan

800-221-4361

Understanding Protective Orders

Protective orders are court orders, signed by a Judge, intended to prevent further acts of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, or stalking. In domestic violence cases that have come before the court, the Judge may issue these orders, which can be customized to meet your needs.

If a violation occurs, the Judge can impose jail time. A protective order, on its own, is not a criminal charge.

View Kentucky Courts’ Complete Protective Order Guide

A Judge can grant these protective conditions within the order:

  • Prevent the destruction or damage to property
  • Keep the abuser away from your home, school, workplace or other places you go
  • Force the abuser to vacate a shared residence
  • If children are involved, temporary custody and support can be awarded to you
  • Apply a Protective Order on behalf of a child
  • The petitioner can request the court for possession of any shared household pets that have been subject to harm/threats

To get a Protective Order, the abuser must have done one or more of these things against you or a child:

 

  • Physical injury or assault
  • Strangulation
  • Sexual abuse or sexual assault
  • Threatened physical injury or assault
  • Stalking
  • Made you fearful of immediate physical injury or any of the above actions
  • Abused a household pet as a method to coerce, control, punish, intimidate or take revenge against you or a child — or threatened to hurt a pet for the same reasons.
What Happens When I File a Protective Order?

When you file, be ready to describe the most recent acts of abusive or threatening behavior that prompted you to seek an order. If the Judge signs the order, you will receive your own copy. If the Judge denies the order, petitioners can also get a copy.

Once signed by the Judge and served on the abuser, a protective order (EPO or TIPO) remains in effect until the court hearing, which has to be heard within 14 days of filing.

You (the “petitioner”) must be present for your court date, where a Judge will hear your case. Once you file a protective order, it cannot be dropped until this court appearance.

Can I Change My Protective Order?

Yes, and you must go to the Circuit Clerk’s office to do it. They will help you write down what you want to change and file the appropriate motions to amend the order.

For example, you and the respondent may agree to “work things out”, but your protective order restricts contact. You can ask that “no contact or communication” be removed. Then, another court hearing will be scheduled, where you will be asked to explain why you wanted the changes.

The rest of the protective order remains in effect even if a change is made.

What Happens in Court?

You (the petitioner) and the abuser (the respondent) will appear before the Judge. You can bring witnesses as well as evidence proving the abuse. These can include:

  • medical records
  • police reports
  • phone logs
  • texts
  • emails
  • screenshots of social media posts
  • The Judge will read the petition and ask if everything is accurate, and allow you to make changes.

Afterward, the Judge will ask the abuser (the respondent) if what you said in the petition is true. Both you and the respondent are allowed to tell your side of the story.

If the Judge determines that abuse occurred, they can put a more permanent order in place — either a Domestic Violence Order (DVO) or an Interpersonal Protective Order (IPO) – which can be issued for up to three years.

What Steps Can I Take if a Protective Order Is Violated?
  • If you are in danger, call 911.
  • If you are not in danger, go to the circuit court clerk’s office and explain what happened. They’ll help you document the specifics of the incident and you’ll get a court appearance within two weeks. If the Judge determines the respondent violated the order, they could be jailed for up to one year.
  • You may also go to the local county attorney and tell them that the respondent broke the protective order. The county attorney will then request the Judge order the arrest of your abuser. If this happens, the abuser can post bail and get out of jail.
  • A hearing will be set, which could be scheduled several months in the future. Here, the Judge may decide if the abuser broke the protective order and the abuser could be sent to jail for up to one year.
  • Help is also available at a domestic violence shelter or other after-hours location, where you can document how they broke the terms of the DVO or IPO. A documentation form will be sent to the Judge. If it is signed, a court date will be set to determine if the respondent was in violation.
Can I be notified when the Protective Order has been served?

Yes. Register for VINE VPO — the Victim Information Notification Everyday-Protective Order.

Call (800) 511-1670 or online go online at VINE VPO

Be ready with the respondent’s name and/or case number. The number can be found on your petition or protective order, and may also be referred to as a “control number”. It will be located at the top right hand corner of the order.

You will receive a phone call or email letting you know the respondent has received the court paperwork and when your court date is scheduled.

If your temporary order (EPO/TIPO) becomes a longer-term order (DVO/IPO), you will need to provide VINE with a new case number/control number.

Types of Protective Orders

Temporary interpersonal protective orders (TIPO)

____________________________

TIPOs are applicable if:

 

  • You are, or have been, in a dating relationship
  • You’ve been sexually assaulted
  • You have been stalked more than twice

Emergency protective orders (EPO)

____________________________

EPOs are used in situations involving: 

 

  • Family members: spouses, ex-spouses, parents, children, grandparents or grandchildren
  • Couples who currently or formerly lived together
  • Couples who have children together

Long-term protective orders

____________________________

Domestic violence orders (DVO) and interpersonal protective orders (IPO) can remain in effect for up to three years.

They are intended to stop violence and abuse by putting restrictions on an abuser (the “respondent”) after a court hearing and outlining legal consequences for doing so.

 

How to File a Protective Order

Go to the Office of the Circuit Court Clerk where you live, or where you moved to get away from the abuser. There is a Circuit Clerk’s office in every one of Kentucky’s 120 counties.

 

  • No attorney is required and there are no fees to file a protective order
  • You can obtain an order 24 hours a day. After hours, call local law enforcement for assistance
  • If you are under 18, an adult family member may file for you
Find Your Local Circuit Clerk

“I feel supported, you all are working to really help me. I’ve never had that before. This is the best shelter I’ve ever been in."

What is Intimate Partner Violence?

Intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse, always involves a pattern of coercive and controlling behavior one partner uses against the other partner for power and control.

Intimate partner violence crosses all social, religious and cultural boundaries

  • Married or unmarried
  • Heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning
  • Living together, separated or dating
  • Any age, gender or race
  • Any cultural background or religion
  • People with little education to those with many academic degrees
  • People experiencing unemployment to top level executives

Victims can be abused in many ways: physically, emotionally, verbally, sexually, economically or financially, and through isolation and neglect. 

When someone scares, hurts, or continually makes fun of you, it is abuse. 

These are just some of the ways people are abused; there are more. Do you see yourself in any of the following examples?

Physical abuse

This includes any physically aggressive behavior, such as beating; indirectly harmful behavior, such as placing someone in unsafe situations; or threats and acts of physical violence.

Are objects thrown at you? Has anyone pulled your hair, pushed, shoved, slapped, hit, kicked, stomped, bitten, punched, choked, burned or dragged you? Have weapons or objects been used to injure you?

Verbal abuse

This comes in many forms including threatening, name-calling, belittling, ridiculing, insulting and cursing. You could find your words continually twisted or experience “gaslighting” — when someone hurts you with lies which make you question your own memory or experience, saying you are “crazy.”

Emotional or psychological abuse

Are you forced to endure long periods of “the silent treatment” or face constant derogatory or demeaning comments? Are you the object of harassment or threats to kill you or your family? Does an abuser withdraw love, ignore or intimidate you, or hurt or threaten to hurt pets? Do you feel isolated and manipulated?

Neglect

Are you being denied basic human needs such as food, clothing, shelter, medical attention and personal hygiene? This, too, is abuse. In some cases, neglect may mean complete abandonment.

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse refers to forcing or manipulating another person into unwanted sexual intercourse or sexual acts. It is sexual abuse, even if it’s done by someone you’re dating or married to. Rape in a romantic relationship and marriage is considered intimate partner violence. This includes forced sex and sexual assault between spouses.

Sexual assault is not always overtly violent. This means that the use of force isn’t the only thing that makes this assault a violation of someone’s integrity. Using drugs to make you lose consciousness to perform sexual acts on you is also a sexually violent exploit and rape. Threatening you with harming you or someone you love, so you have sexual intercourse with them, is also considered sexual violence. Intimate partner sexual violence does not only happen between spouses. It also applies to dating partners, whether you live with them or not.
Sexual violence includes acts of sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse.

Have you been subjected to unwanted touching or abuse of your genitals or breasts? Have you been raped by the abuser directly or with objects? Have you been the victim of offensive statements about your body or your sexuality, made to have sexual relations with others, or forced into prostitution?

Isolation

Are you a prisoner — either literally or through intimidation — in your own home? Have you been locked indoors or denied access to a car or telephone? Are your movements controlled and are you kept away from family and friends? Are you forced to beg for permission to complete routine errands or prevented from going anywhere unaccompanied?

Economic abuse

If you are being prevented from getting or keeping a job, you could be the victim of economic abuse. Are you forced to ask for money or only permitted an allowance? Is your money confiscated or are you denied access to the family income?

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

Does you partner?

  • ZEmbarrass or make fun of you in front of others?
  • ZPut down your accomplishments or ideas?
  • ZUse intimidation and threats to get their way?
  • ZCall you names or yell at you?
  • ZUse alcohol or drugs as an excuse to say hurtful things or to abuse you?
  • ZGrab, push, kick, pinch, shove, slap, torture or hit you?
  • ZPressure you to perform sexual acts you do not agree to/aren’t ready for?
  • ZGet unreasonably jealous: Do they call to check up on you to “make sure” where you are?
  • ZPrevent you from doing things you want, like spending time with friends or being by yourself?
  • ZMake you feel trapped in the relationship?
  • ZBlame everything that doesn’t go right on you?

Are you?

  • ZConstantly making excuses for their behavior?
  • ZSometimes scared of how your partner will act alone or in front of others?
  • ZConvinced they will be satisfied only if you change something about yourself?
  • ZAlways “walking on eggshells” so your partner will not be mad?
  • ZRealizing that no matter what you do, they are never happy with you?
  • ZGiving in to what your partner wants instead of what you want?
  • ZStaying with them because you fear what they will do if you break up?

Are you ready to leave your abusive relationship?

Call the DOVES Hotline to talk through a personalized safety plan

800-221-4361

FAQs for Survivors

We hope this section answers questions you may have.  Please don’t hesitate to reach out and contact us if you would like further information.

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What should I tell my children about staying at the shelter?
It is important to tell them that the abuse is not their fault. Also, tell them DOVES is a safe place to stay. Please let your children know that we have an outdoor playground as well as an indoor playroom. We have a children’s advocate on site that is available to help them and you through the process if you would like further assistance. This is optional and is not required.
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What should I expect when I first arrive?

A trained advocate will lend an empathetic ear, complete some paperwork with you, give you a tour of the shelter, and help you get settled in comfortably. This process typically takes anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes. However, we do understand that every person is different and we treat everyone on a case-by-case basis. If you are someone who needs longer to go through paperwork, we will respect that and work with your needs. Also, paperwork may need to wait in some cases. Your basic needs are our first priority when you're coming into shelter, so if you are hungry, need rest or require medical attention, those needs will be addressed before paperwork is completed.

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What do I bring to the shelter when I come?
If your life is in danger, you may need to escape with nothing at all. However, if you have the opportunity to plan ahead, we encourage you to gather birth certificates, social security cards, IDs and any other documents that may be difficult to obtain once you are away from your home. Other items to consider are medications, legal documents, photos, and anything else that is sentimental to you and your children. DOVES will meet all of your basic food, shelter and hygiene needs during your stay at shelter.
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What should I expect while staying at DOVES?
You can expect a secure environment where you can make informed choices about your situation. All our services are free and optional during your stay. We do ask you to participate in a light cleaning daily commitment while staying with us to help maintain a safe and clean environment for everyone at the shelter. While food is provided, meals are not. We have onsite laundry (washers and dryers) and will provide detergent. We strive to make this feel as much like a home environment as possible even though we know it is still a communal living situation.
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What if I want to stay at home and just need someone to talk to?
That is okay, leaving an abusive relationship is a process that takes place over time. People have many reasons for staying in an abusive relationship. Regardless of whether or not you are ready to leave, we have trained advocates available on the phone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
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Do you provide counseling for assailants?
No. Our services are strictly for those who have been survivors of intimate partner violence.
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Is there a fee for your services?
All services are offered free of charge.
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How long can I stay in the shelter?
DOVES provides temporary emergency shelter and crisis intervention. Your length of stay will take into consideration your unique situation as you work with DOVES advocates.
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Are your services confidential?
Confidentiality is a top priority for us. All information shared with us remains private and we take great care to protect the identities of those we serve. No information is released without their consent.
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Is the shelter only for people in immediate danger?
Our shelter is open to anyone seeking emergency safe shelter from intimate partner violence. We also provide non-residential services to those that may not require shelter but need support and resources, such as mental health services, legal advocacy, financial assistance and educational programming.
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Does DOVES support men too?
DOVES provides assistance to anyone who is currently experiencing or at risk of experiencing domestic violence regardless of gender, sex, sexual orientation, age, race, religion, language, nationality, income or disability.

Questions we haven’t covered? We are here to help.

Please call our crisis line available 24 hours a day at (800) 221-4361

Find a shelter near you.

DOVES of Gateway provides services to the Gateway counties of Rowan, Menifee, Montgomery, Morgan and Bath.

All Kentucky counties are covered by one of the 15 sister shelters of ZeroV, Kentucky’s coalition of domestic violence shelters and services.