If a friend is being abused
Leaving an abusive partner can be the most dangerous time, so it is very important that you plan for safety. Essentially, a safety plan is being aware of your surroundings and planning where to go and what to do during a violent incident in order to increase your safety.
- Tell them it’s not their fault.
- Tell them they do not deserve it.
- Listen to them without judging.
- Believe them, and let them know that you do.
- Don’t blame them for the abuse. Leaving an abusive relationship is hard and can take a long time.
- Give them good information about abuse —you can call your local crisis line and get information and support.
Tactics of Control
Domestic violence is more than hitting. It is a pattern of abusive behavior used to threaten, frighten, injure and control another person. Over time, abusive behaviors increase in frequency and severity. Physical abuse in a relationship rarely starts out as severe violence. It’s subtle. Some behaviors that indicate that a partner may become physically violent include:
- Extreme jealousy
- Possessiveness
- Blaming others for their problems
- Never being able to admit wrong-doing
- Having extreme beliefs about the roles of men and women in relationships
- Constant criticism
- Cruelty to animals
How can you help us?
With your support and involvement in learning about warning signs of domestic violence you can help us fight this tragedy.
DOVES would love all community involvement in supporting those who are already fighting the stigma and repercussions of falling victim to this horrible act. There are some things that you can do to help if you know someone who is in an abusive relationship or you suspect someone is being abused in the community.
Educate yourself
Educate yourself on domestic violence and share what you learn with the person. Discuss the dynamics of domestic violence and how abuse is based on power and control. Explain that domestic violence is a crime, and that no one deserves to be threatened, hit or beaten.
Offer support
Listen without judging. Tell the person that you are concerned about his/her safety and remind him/her that he/she is not alone. Acknowledge that it takes strength and courage to survive and trust someone enough to talk about the situation. Let the person make his/her own decisions and support him/ her, even if it means not being ready to leave the relationship.
Be aware
Of resources in your community that offer services to victims, and refer that person to those resources.
Take action against domestic violence.
Support local domestic violence centers with your money, time or resources. Raise public awareness in your community. Ask your legislators about pending domestic violence legislation. Hold batterers accountable in your community. Make domestic violence a workplace issue. Tell healthcare professionals to screen for domestic violence with their patients. Call the police if you see or hear an assault in progress. Make a personal commitment to educate others.
Residents in shelter
Crisis calls answered
Non-residential survivors served
Numbers taken from July 2020 – June 2021
Our Service Area
DOVES of Gateway provides services to the Gateway counties of Rowan, Menifee, Montgomery, Morgan and Bath.
All Kentucky counties are covered by one of the 15 sister shelters of ZeroV, formerly Kentucky Coalition Against Domestic Violence (KCADV).
